Yesterday, our daughter's beloved dog Huxley passed away. For 14 years, he was more than just a pet—he was part of our family’s heartbeat. His gentle nature, loyal companionship, and quiet presence filled our home with joy. Losing him has left us with an ache that words can barely touch.
Grief is hard enough as adults, but when there are children involved, the loss of a family pet becomes even more layered. Children may be experiencing death for the first time, and they look to us for comfort, clarity, and example. Huxley’s passing has reminded me of just how important it is to prepare ourselves and our families for this tender journey.
Talking to Children Honestly
It can feel tempting to soften the truth with phrases like “Huxley went to sleep” or “Huxley ran away.” But children, even very young ones, are perceptive. Honest language helps them process the permanence of death.
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Use clear words like “died” instead of confusing euphemisms.
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Share in age-appropriate terms what happened, reassuring them that their pet’s suffering has ended.
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Allow space for questions, even if you don’t have all the answers.
Making Space for Grief
Children need permission to feel. Some may cry openly, while others may seem unfazed at first. Both responses are normal. As adults, we can model healthy grieving.
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Encourage your child to talk about their favorite memories of the pet.
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Let them know it’s okay to be sad, angry, or quiet.
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Share your own feelings—tears are a sign of love, not weakness.
Creating Rituals of Goodbye
Saying goodbye is a crucial step for closure, no matter the age. Rituals help children (and adults) tangibly move through grief. Some ideas include:
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Holding a small family ceremony in the backyard.
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Planting a flower or tree in honor of your pet.
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Drawing pictures, writing letters, or making a memory box with favorite photos and keepsakes.
For Huxley, we lit a candle and shared stories around the dinner table. It was simple, but deeply comforting.
Honoring the Love That Remains
Children often worry that they will forget their pet. Help them see that love never disappears.
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Make a scrapbook together filled with photos and stories.
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Display a framed picture in a special place in your home.
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Talk about your pet often, weaving them into family stories.
By keeping memories alive, we show children that grief and love can coexist.
Caring for Yourself
As parents and grandparents, we sometimes put our energy into “being strong” for the children, but our own grief deserves care, too. Take time to rest, cry, or journal. Grief is not something to rush through; it’s something we carry with us in a new way.
Closing Thoughts
The loss of Huxley has left an empty spot in our home, but also a reminder: pets teach us unconditional love, and their passing teaches us how to honor love with tenderness and grace. Helping children walk through this experience with honesty, rituals, and remembrance not only heals their hearts but strengthens the bonds of family.
If your family is facing a similar loss, know you are not alone. Grief is a universal language, but so is love.
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