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Married to an Addict: Can the Relationship Be Saved?

 The close relationship you develop with another person should feel like a safe haven, a place you can retreat to when life throws you curveballs. But when drugs or alcohol take over, you basically become a second priority in the relationship. How can partners deal with an addicted spouse or does it mean that the relationship is over? Here are some important details that you should know.


How Substance Abuse Affects Relationships


When one partner becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, a cycle of conflict is created that often leads to a toxic relationship. Attending rehab for couples in California is typically a good idea to prevent the relationship from getting to that point. Where substance abuse is involved, conflicts can become physical and sometimes violent. Instead of talking things out, disagreements arise about the substance abuse itself, as well as financial issues typically connected to the substance abuse. Other concerns include other legal conflicts and verbal, physical, and sexual abuse.


How To Support A Partner Without Enabling


It’s easy to want to help the addict deal with their issues, but there is a fine line between helping and enabling their addiction. Enabling might involve giving them money to help them obtain the source of their addiction, or making excuses for thme on their behalf. Supporting an addict can take a tremendous physical and mental toll on a partner, to the point that they no longer have the energy to take care of themselves. This results in a codependent relationship, where the spouse believes that their only role is to save their partner from addiction. It is the only way they feel that they can have power or self-esteem.


Forcing A Spouse Into Rehab Isn’t Recommended


Some partners may feel as if they can force their spouse into rehab in order to get the help that they need, but this ends up having the opposite effect. There are some states that have laws pertaining to involuntary commitment, but very specific criteria must be met in order for this to come into effect. It must be determined that the person is a threat to themselves or others, an addiction has rendered them disabled, or that the individual lacks the ability to make decisions for themselves, amongst other criteria.


Available Resources


There are several resources and communities that couples can seek when substance abuse is involved. It usually involves both individual and couple therapy to deal with the issues and complications that arise from substance abuse. Treating both partners in the relationship tends to have a higher success rate, as well as reducing the chances of the relationship or marriage ending.


If you or your loved one is dealing with a substance abuse disorder, it’s important to speak to a mental health professional as soon as possible. They can het you and your loved one the help that you need to not only improve the state of your relationship, but to also help you or your loved one overcome their substance abuse disorder.

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