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Getting Back into the Dating After a Long Relationship


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When you’re in love, it feels heavenly to wake in the morning to the face of your significant other, sometimes accompanied by cuddles, smiles, whispers, and a lovely breakfast afterward. However small they might look at the moment, these are likely some of the things you’ll miss most when things turn sour, end, or do not seem to work anymore.

And whether it’s a breakup, a divorce, or you lost your partner to illness or tragedy, it is not unusual to want to get out there and pursue happiness. But if you’re like most people who have been off the market for a long while, taking a dip back into the dating world can be daunting and confusing for starters. 

This is especially if you’re the busy type of person who usually gets little time to socialize. It even becomes tougher if you have invested heavily in the relationship emotionally and financially.

Thankfully, the pointers below can help make it easier for you when getting back into dating after a long-term relationship.

Give It Some Time 

One of the biggest mistakes people make after getting out of a relationship is rushing back into the dating world. Instead, it’s better to give it some time and consider dating yourself for a little while. Not only does it give you space to grieve and heal, but also lets you revisit your priorities in life, understand your weaknesses better, and rethink the qualities you need from a partner.

Depending on how long you had been together and how it ended, the break might be anywhere between 3 months and 1 year. It may also vary from one person to the other but the rule of thumb is to avoid jumping right back into dating as soon as your long-term relationship ends. It basically allows you to pick the pieces up and find yourself again so you can leave the baggage from the previous relationship behind.

Engage More in the Things You Love 

Being in a committed relationship often means making sacrifices, part of which involves abandoning some of your hobbies or spare time activities in favor of activities you can engage in with your partner. 

But now that you’re alone, it might be the best time to reconnect with yourself and enjoy the things you personally love (or loved) doing. Whether it’s biking, swimming, dog-walking or simply chilling at the park, go ahead and do that more often. 

After all, you never know… you may end up meeting the next love of your life through such activities!

Start Going Out More Often

If you have been living in the same city for quite some time, this might be a good time to take some friends along. It’s also a good idea to mix up your social activities, making sure to keep your solo time (and your social time) apart. So for the first time in a while, you can kick back at a bar or club, or even take a vacation to a new place.

It helps you avoid getting stuck in a rut. Rather than staying indoors, getting out there allows you to meet and interact with new people, thus heightening your odds of meeting someone who could fit your definition of " a date" and probably end up being your relationship partner.

Try Online Dating Apps

These days, finding love has become easier than ever, especially online. This is all thanks to mobile dating apps and websites, which have taken the world by storm over the past few years. 

As a matter of fact, online dating statistics showed that at least 30% of U.S. adults tried using a dating site according to a survey in 2019. It’s been shown to be an effective way to find love and even meet a lifetime spouse.

If you haven’t used an online dating site or mobile app for a while, now might be a good time to check them out. There are thousands of them out there, so there is bound to be something that matches your taste, needs, and desires. And even better, they tend to be a lot cheaper than their offline counterparts. Consider exploring options like the WhosHere Plus App, which offers a unique approach to connecting with potential partners based on shared interests and location.

Be Yourself

The best dating advice is also the most simple: you just need to be yourself. You may need to come across as an extrovert, shy, bold, funny, or even a mess, but just know that all of that is just a front. After all, you are never fully “you” until you are with someone special.

Don’t try too hard, but don’t be apathetic either. Just be yourself and see where it goes. And don’t give up too soon. Rather, stay confident and hope for a better person even if you face rejection or the first few dates end up disappointing you.

Take It Slow

Most importantly, don’t rush things too much. As much as you may feel vulnerable and eager to get back in love, it's best to take your time getting to know someone before you start a new relationship. The thing is, no matter how much you care for a person, you just don’t know them until you get to know them.

And when things start going well, strive to not compare your date to your ex. It’s natural to compare the person you’re dating to your previous partner, but it’s important to remember that each person is unique and to give them a chance to show you who they are.

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